Cooking Lessons
by Sakura Blackwolf
Summary: Goku tries his hand at cooking when Hakkai and Gojyo go shopping.


Once upon a time, the authoress lost her plotting brain cells(Kappa burned them ::Kappa:: I did not!), so one day while trying to plot Incarcerated; Rain, she decided to make a one-shot fic. Yes, a one-shot fic. And while she was thinking of this, she was also thinking of shounen ai. So basically, the ideas of the slums of the authoress' brain witnessed the following equation  
  
One-shot + Shounen ai = Sanzo and Goku un-sappy moment  
  
Thus this horrible fic was born.  
  
  
  
Cooking Lessons  
  
  
  
  
Goku wanted to cook  
  
And he wanted to cook badly  
  
I mean what if Hakkai gets lost one day?! Who'll cook for him then?! Gojyo won't. He's too lazy. Sanzo would just whack him with a fan. God knows why he's trying to learn by himself though. Probably because Hakkai(with Gojyo because he wanted to come along)was out getting food, and he was too starving to wait!!  
  
Goku blinked his large golden eyes at the book in front of him that read in big, bold text, "COOKBOOK FOR MORONS." Really big text, like some store advtisement sign or so. But Goku figured he should use that book, even though he wasn't sure what a moron was, since Sanzo liked to call him that occasionally. So that was what he must be! Uh..right? Either that or he was Youkaian moronican. Is that even a nationality? Goku scratched his head. What was nationality again? He should ask Hakkai later.  
  
"eno puc fo ragus- Nani?!" Of course, Goku didn't realize he was reading everything upside down. But the youkai didn't really care. He just wanted to eat!  
  
So he started throwing in the random things he likes. Especially meatbuns. Don't forget the meatbuns(cold however, which is why he thought he needed to cook). About twenty of them were stuffed inside a huge, plastic bowl, along with various other food products that shouldn't be mentioned for the disgusting taste they're going to give once they're combined.  
  
But fish heads were in there.   
  
Always, Goku turned on the stove. It took a few tries. First the knob wasn't turning either way. Then he punched it and found the knob was pushable. But that kinda broke it so he had to try another knob in which he punched it and broke it again. But then he discovered he could hold it down and turn it. Of course, he almost broke the second to last knob by trying to turn it the direction it wasn't supposed to go in.  
  
Ears perking at the sound of..something(Hakkai called it gas though), he lightly poked the knob so it made that nifty clicking sound. Wai'ing in all delight, he turned the knob full way, to meet the full on blast of fire for one second before it died down. The youkai coughed out smoke and brushed at his face wildly, wincing at the burns, "Itaaaaaiii!!"  
  
Well now that that horrible Hakuryuu impersonator of a stove was calm, Goku carefully set the bowl full of various eating items onto the fire, jumping back as if expecting another blast of fire. But it didn't come. Whew.  
  
Wasn't he supposed to put in water? He saw Hakkai do it sometimes.  
  
Happily, he dumped a large cylinder glass of water into the bowl..along with the cup. Goku was beginning to wonder if he was actually cooking when the plastic started to melt underneath the flame.  
  
Suddenly, Goku remembered seeing Hakkai chop some things with a knife before. Was that part of the whole process of cooking too? Jumping all around, Goku cheerfully grabbed onto a knife. It knida of weird though. He was holding it with one hand and he normally held things with two, like with Nyoibou!  
  
But..what was he supposed to chop?  
  
The youkai spotted a nearby package of meat. He could chop that!  
  
But he made that mistake in trying to hold the knife tight, like Nyoibou,and ended up cutting his palm, "ITAAAIII!!!!"  
  
"Who the fuck is waking me up?"  
  
Goku whimpered over his bleeding hand as a very cranky Genjo Sanzo made him way into the room, robes discarded somewhere on his bed. Frowning, Sanzo placed his gloved hands on his hips, "What the hell do you think you're doing?"  
  
"Ita ta ta ta...!"  
  
"Well?"  
  
"It hurts!" The priest muttered under his breath and marched over to the kitchen counter where Goku was being teary-eyed over his palm and the plastic bowl was now a plastic blob frosted with food varying from cold meatbuns to fish heads. A tick mark made its way to Sanzo's forehead. And out of his spandex space, the priest whacked Goku over the head with his infamous fan.  
  
"ITAI! Sanzo! What was that for!"  
  
"For waking me up and for making such a mess, you moron!" Goku's mind processed the thought of him being Youkaian Moronican again. What was a moron anyways? Goku was about to scratch his head when he remembered the slice on his hand and started forming small tears at the edges of his eyes.  
  
Sanzo sighed in exasperation and dragged Goku out of the kitchen, "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."  
  
Goku blinked, "Sanzo?"  
  
"You're bleeding over the fuckin' floor!"  
  
"Ohhhhh."  
  
The youkai sniffled as Sanzo washed away the fresh blood on his hand under the bathroom sink, looking around for bandages which always magically appeared when he needed it. At least, it did that for Hakkai. But all the stinkin' hotel had were Barney, the purple dinosaur band-aids, which made Sanzo slam the cabinet door shut immediately.  
  
The blonde grabbed at a strand of toilet paper and dried the other's hand, throwing it away and wrapping the wound with a new length of soft material. Okay so he couldn't make such a good bandage with toilet paper that tears everywhere if pulled too hard, and it was hard enough getting it to stick magically to the other's hand, so he had to settle so tying it in a small, loose knot; loose because the ends tore short.  
  
"There."  
  
Goku wiped at his eyes, "But Sanzo, isn't that kinda stuff for when you use the-"  
  
"URUSAI!" The dreaded fan slammed upon the brunette yet again.  
  
"Waaah!" Goku rubbed at his head with his good hand.  
  
"What were you trying to do anyway?"  
  
"Cooking!" Goku beamed happily, despite that large bump on his head. Sanzo's right eye twitched, "Dumbass ape! That was making a fuckin' mess!"  
  
"Ah?! I wasn't cooking?!"  
  
"No."  
  
"Waaah! I'll die starving!"  
  
  
-Owari- 


End file.
